Maybe it is all Worth Something....

I know more than anybody that sometimes life's spontaneous battles can make you wonder if its all worth it. I have more than once been in a never ending pondering state with just that question on my mind. Creation of a human life takes too much not to mean something, I think figuring out our purpose in life is where the confusion comes in. Please if there is anybody out there that knew there purpose early on and actually fulfilled it "the first time" - Please post and enlighten me :/. There are so many times life's slap in the face leaves such a sting, its near impossible to recover (I think I have more of my own hand prints on my face than that of anybody else's) Eventually we just need to know that it adds up to SOMETHING, the struggle, the drama, the pain, the humility - it has a reason and WILL take us to the next level or plateau, i hope.....I need that, I don't want to exist in THIS life and nobody remember my name (my biggest and most deepest fear) --- I push everyday for that not to manifest, taking one day at a time. So TODAY I have meaning, my existence has meaning, so I guess that makes today a happy face day :) - lets hope tomorrow brings the same and more. Lovewillsavetheday - Really it will

Goin Round and Round

I love the feeling of reminiscing. I think we all need to do it and often. Just close our eyes and go back to a time to a warm memory created, a lesson learned, or even a broken heart. The journey that we go on in this life is all but once, you may have Deja Vu a couple of hundred times if your lucky, but this lifetime is unique and there will not be another one like it ever again in creation. There are many things in my "younger life" that I miss and often think about, I try not to regret anything but to see my mistakes and my purpose for making them and to move forward. You know a shift in your existence is about to occur when you find yourself going round and round in memories of where you have come from and thoughts as to where you are headed. Reflection is occurring and you need to grasp what you see as a road map for your next move. You may in that moment feel your throat tighten and water well in your eyes as you hold them closed oh so tight, not wanting to let go of the connection you have made with the universe as it speaks to you. Sometimes you feel like this when you have been emotionally hurt in a relationship, or hit a dead end in your career, or just when things aren't going so great. I know from my own experience that reflections such as these are a key to the next level in life, you can either use it to open the door or you can put it around your neck until the next time. I haven't felt like ME for a long time. I think the key I hold in this reflection is the key back to ME (and I've been here before several times over the years), it is present now because all the other doors are locked (love, career, happiness) - Wait maybe not locked, maybe all just within ME.....

A-W-O-L for good reasons

Okay I've been AWOL for a few days. This first week of the new year so far has been a serious test of patience, and mental focus (which I believe is all in the same)
I did not realize this until maybe Wednesday, that things where out of control - What was happening was completely the Universe's call- And also by then I had also made some incorrect decisions, by not using my head and moving on emotions - but believe you me I snapped out of it quickly. Once decided that the universe was in control - I started to check my horoscope, and of course it was on point, which confirmed my theory. Once I aligned with the Universe and slowed down a little, I was able to put and keep things into prospective. Slowly but surely things calmed down (at least for now). I know this all sounds like a world-wind (and it was) especially with no details of incidents (the juicy stuff) - But all of that is in the past and I truly believe I learned its purpose, and why it was so chaotic, therefore it is no need to speak of it ever again - so there !!! I hope maybe you got something from this entry - I know I did- and that is to be inside my head can be very dangerous sometimes. Until next time- Always let love save the day................

P.S. Needless to say this whole week is :( faces at least until Friday - Today is a day of revelation so of course its a good one :) - What will tomorrow bring????????????

Day 4

Today is a smiley face day - not because anything good or not bad happened, just because I remember what my grandma used to say - "if you ain't got nuttin nice to say then don't say nuttin at all" - quoted from My Grandma Vi - So I am going to leave that thought to marinate in the minds of those of you are following. Oh and believe you me when its not so good of a day (clearly defined)- I will have plenty to say - Sorry Grandma.....

Everything happens for a Reason

Okay how many times have you heard that? Well me myself so may that I stopped paying attention to the lesson. This year I am going to challenge myself to keep a daily log of my good days, and of my bad days- the hypothesis that they balance each other out - literally tit for tat .....Interesting you say............very much so. But think about it - some days you feel like its the worse day of your life and it could not get any worse, but in most cases that if you survive that day, and wake to see another day you have already proven that that day "was not" the worse day of your life because you lived to see another and make it different and better.
So I'm challenging any readers to keep a calendar, it could be a pocket, desk, computer, iphone, whatever is your tool. No real rules just that it has to be documented in some form, and it has to be determined what type of day it is at the peak of whatever situation you think is the determinate. For example: If you wake up late, there is no coffee, your significant other is naggin naggin about something that sounds like a foreign language everytime they mention it, can't find your keys to escape, and when you do, you go outside and you battery has been stolen or your car side swiped- At that point you have decided that this has a red x all over it. Okay this determination will serve as two functions 1) You know what you're in for for the remainder of the day, so be ready for it (set you clock ahead a few, stop at Coffee shop to get coffee, take care of what the nagging was about, get an extra key made for emergencies, and maybe park more cautiously next time.Now none of these movements will save the disasters of the day but - you will be prepared if any or all should occur at any given time in the future. 2) This situation will create an alter ego day, when everything is perfect, and you notice it and make recogiition and accountability that the bad day paid the price for you to have this good day. So how you log is up to you. X on bad day, happy face on good day, The details can be added if you want to. My hope in doing this is so we see what we get to frustrated to see, that as crazy as our lives may seem---THERE IS BALANCE, it may not pan out when or where we always want it, but its there. That appreciation even on a minute scale like this, I believe will change how we look at our life and most importantly the purpose of our life- Our reason for being. I am going to figure out how to add a calendar- so you can my progress or digress, who knows. But so far my data is as follows for 2010 1st day- happy face, 2nd happy face, 3rd day happy face - So far so good - either I rejoice or prepare for battle. I like rejoicing, I am sure I will need my laugh muscsles for battle - LMBO - Till next time. PS Send me your results